On Being Cultured

You didn't need money to be cultured, my mother said. You simply need to behave like a lady. She had simple rules to accomplish this goal. Ladies don't smoke, drink or chew (and she meant chew gum here, not eat.),  and practice the Golden Rule. How hard can that be?

Much harder than I thought. The only rule I haven't broken is the don't smoke rule, although you could count on your fingers the number of times I have chewed gum in my life. So, maybe I am half way toward being a cultured lady.

The drinking rule makes all kinds of sense to me, so it is a wonder that I don't follow it. I'm not a big drinker, but why drink at all when it is just expensive extra calories? Actually, I know the answer to that question. Because it is fun and tastes good. I am easily seduced by things that are fun and taste good, including gooey, melting chocolate fondue and anything to do with salt and potatoes.

Practicing the Golden Rule is the issue that concerns me the most. Doing unto others as you would like them to do unto you seems to be an outmoded concept. In fact, I am not sure it was ever in mode. The most popular stories of our culture, from the Bible through "The Real Housewives..." are all about people behaving badly. I know, these can be considered cautionary tales -- do as we say, not as we do, yadda, yaddda. Right? Like that works. In two thousand years we haven't learned that hanging some one from a cross is a bad idea. We develop and publish ever more excruciating, and long lasting methods of torture and humiliation in our books, on television, and on the internet. And then we call it entertainment. Even Christ's death has been offered up as pop culture entertainment. How can describing in gory and graphic detail horrific deaths be instructional in any positive way?

I don't advocate censorship at any level other than the personal. Every person has the right and the obligation to practice censorship in their own lives. Maybe the Golden Rule should be expanded, not excised. To my mind, the Rule should read, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you; shun those whose wickedness seeks to entertain you."